Oh, it is? Really?
Well, just remember: “everything you see that glitters isn’t always gold; everything you think is perfect isn’t always so” (thank you Cher Lloyd for such cliché but true song lyrics).
I find it amazing how much social media in general can hide a person’s struggles, insecurities, and secrets. A guy friend of mine was ranting to me this morning on Whatsapp about how my “life is perfect” from what he's seen on my social media and how I don’t understand what it’s like to “live a day in [his] life.” I thought that this post would be a good opportunity to express my thoughts and feelings on this matter and why I believe that social media is so misleading and incongruous to what we perceive in reality.
I will undoubtedly admit that my life has been full of many privileges that I don’t even feel like I deserve. I have been fortunate enough to have grandparents who have been able to help me and my immediate family financially with a seemingly infinite number of things. They pay my rent for my apartment at school. They have given me a closet full of hand-me-downs so that I don’t have as much new clothes shopping to do. They have helped me pay to fix various damages on my car. They paid to decorate my apartment back in August of last year while simultaneously helping my mom pay to fix some inevitable damage done to our septic tank, a broken refrigerator, and a faulty, old washing machine. Basically, they have paid for more than we can ever repay them for, and they continue to financially help me, my mom, and our family. And because of this, I have been able to work and save up on my own faster for miscellaneous things that I want – particularly my extensive travels that people always ask me about.
I understand that I really am lucky. I have gotten to travel and befriend so many kind, wonderful people in other places. I have gotten to stay in some of their homes in their home states and countries and have them personally show me around everywhere. I even just got back from visiting a pen pal/friend of mine in Virginia/Washington D.C. last weekend. And, more so, I will get to go to Europe for the fourth time in July for three weeks and for the fifth time in September to study abroad for the fall semester in Montpellier, France.
Yes, I know that these aren’t things that everyone can say.
However, what many don’t realize is that while I’ve been extremely lucky, I’ve also lacked in some basic, personal areas that I find make my life rather dull aside from my travels. There are so many moments in time when I feel like a lonely, useless failure who can’t live up to the expectations of others. My weight and physical appearance haven’t been particular best friends of mine. I have never been obese, no. But I have never been skinny either, and I have certainly never had a “bikini body” by typical American standards.
I have never liked having super tan skin because people (being the racially presumptuous individuals that they are – especially in America) automatically make this assumed notion and opinion about me before they even have a conversation with me. They all think that I’m Hispanic or am from Mexico (most prevalently). This isn’t cool for me because by enculturation, I don’t feel and act as I look like (I mean, I guess I don’t, anyway). I have always fallen for guys with lighter features. But, because I am this “Hispanic” type of tan, I feel like I am automatically eliminated from the “pool” of girls that I could potentially be a candidate for if I hadn’t had this skin tone, which is synonymous with being dirty, poor, and ugly. It has always been like that, and until the day I find the perfect boyfriend/husband, it will always be like that. This is the reason why I wear 10 pounds of (light colored) makeup on my face almost every time I walk out the door, why I dye my hair, and why I sometimes go through half a closet’s worth of clothes to find something “not fat [or dark] looking” to wear for the day. It’s why my insecurities exist, and it’s not fair.
I often feel lonelier than many are aware of too. Sure, I do meet people while waitressing all the time and I talk like a chatterbox to so many of them. I do have more people on my Facebook “friends” list than I could ever have in real life. But almost all of the TRUE friends that I have don’t even live within a close driving (flying?) distance to me. I hardly keep in touch with almost anyone from high school. I have maybe a couple of friends or so while at UGA for college, but I don’t even see them that often and I (honestly) dislike Athens otherwise.
My extended family (particularly cousins of mine) in general is so much more successful, physically attractive, and cohesive than I could ever dream of being with them. My mom has never been empathetically and emotionally close with me because she is just simply not that kind of person, and I can’t change it. My dad has always had strange mannerisms. My parents have been officially divorced for almost 2 years now, but even when they were together, they were not a good match at all. We didn’t live in a rich household or even a rich neighborhood while I was growing up. We still don’t.
But yet, all you see on my particular Facebook and Instagram accounts are pictures of me smiling and having the time of my life while on my seemingly luxurious (flashback) travels, while at dolled-up family events with family members I seldom even see, and while I’m in my own fantasy world making it look like I’m doing something productive with my life. You don’t see loneliness, isolation, tears, heartbreak, or disappointment in anything of mine because I filter it out. After all, why would you want someone to see you upset and being negative?
I could go on and on about the little things in my life that I don’t like and/or don’t have, but I think that you see the point that I’m getting at. I don’t have a perfect life. None of us really have “perfect lives.” No matter what social media makes it look like. Not all of us are struggling financially, but we all have those emotional conflicts within ourselves that can be detrimental to our self-esteem and our well-being. We all have lonely moments. We all strive to fit in for acceptance and love. Social media is awesome, but it also usually only reveals the “best” aspects of ourselves. It tremendously fails to reveal all of our feelings, our downfalls, and any of the missing patches in our own lives. It sneakily hides the bruises, scars, or unfulfilled desires that make us the type of people that we are and the kind of nurture that we need to satisfy our dreams.
Social media is simply a social construct with a sprinkle of outer presumption, pressure, and approval. Our life stories are all worth more than what our profiles make visible to the public. This is why social media can only be trusted to such a moderate extent. We constantly compare ourselves to others and their expectations – often so much that we often blind ourselves of our own. We naturally scrutinize our flaws (as you clearly read above from my own part) but we shouldn’t forget to emphasize our blessings, remain positive in the darkest of situations, and truly find the simple things in our lives that are worth living for.
There are people in the world who will love you, care for you, admire you, and praise you for the imperfectly perfect human that you are. Even during the moments when you’re down and feel like you’ve lost all hope in the world, there is a light at the end of each tunnel just waiting for you to seize. Keep doing the things that make you happy. Keep laughing at all of the funny things you see in your daily life or even on the internet. Learn a new skill or start a new project. Make a new friend, a new pen pal, or even befriend an old family member.
But most importantly, breathe. Everything always works itself out to make yourself a better individual in the end.
Well, just remember: “everything you see that glitters isn’t always gold; everything you think is perfect isn’t always so” (thank you Cher Lloyd for such cliché but true song lyrics).
I find it amazing how much social media in general can hide a person’s struggles, insecurities, and secrets. A guy friend of mine was ranting to me this morning on Whatsapp about how my “life is perfect” from what he's seen on my social media and how I don’t understand what it’s like to “live a day in [his] life.” I thought that this post would be a good opportunity to express my thoughts and feelings on this matter and why I believe that social media is so misleading and incongruous to what we perceive in reality.
I will undoubtedly admit that my life has been full of many privileges that I don’t even feel like I deserve. I have been fortunate enough to have grandparents who have been able to help me and my immediate family financially with a seemingly infinite number of things. They pay my rent for my apartment at school. They have given me a closet full of hand-me-downs so that I don’t have as much new clothes shopping to do. They have helped me pay to fix various damages on my car. They paid to decorate my apartment back in August of last year while simultaneously helping my mom pay to fix some inevitable damage done to our septic tank, a broken refrigerator, and a faulty, old washing machine. Basically, they have paid for more than we can ever repay them for, and they continue to financially help me, my mom, and our family. And because of this, I have been able to work and save up on my own faster for miscellaneous things that I want – particularly my extensive travels that people always ask me about.
I understand that I really am lucky. I have gotten to travel and befriend so many kind, wonderful people in other places. I have gotten to stay in some of their homes in their home states and countries and have them personally show me around everywhere. I even just got back from visiting a pen pal/friend of mine in Virginia/Washington D.C. last weekend. And, more so, I will get to go to Europe for the fourth time in July for three weeks and for the fifth time in September to study abroad for the fall semester in Montpellier, France.
Yes, I know that these aren’t things that everyone can say.
However, what many don’t realize is that while I’ve been extremely lucky, I’ve also lacked in some basic, personal areas that I find make my life rather dull aside from my travels. There are so many moments in time when I feel like a lonely, useless failure who can’t live up to the expectations of others. My weight and physical appearance haven’t been particular best friends of mine. I have never been obese, no. But I have never been skinny either, and I have certainly never had a “bikini body” by typical American standards.
I have never liked having super tan skin because people (being the racially presumptuous individuals that they are – especially in America) automatically make this assumed notion and opinion about me before they even have a conversation with me. They all think that I’m Hispanic or am from Mexico (most prevalently). This isn’t cool for me because by enculturation, I don’t feel and act as I look like (I mean, I guess I don’t, anyway). I have always fallen for guys with lighter features. But, because I am this “Hispanic” type of tan, I feel like I am automatically eliminated from the “pool” of girls that I could potentially be a candidate for if I hadn’t had this skin tone, which is synonymous with being dirty, poor, and ugly. It has always been like that, and until the day I find the perfect boyfriend/husband, it will always be like that. This is the reason why I wear 10 pounds of (light colored) makeup on my face almost every time I walk out the door, why I dye my hair, and why I sometimes go through half a closet’s worth of clothes to find something “not fat [or dark] looking” to wear for the day. It’s why my insecurities exist, and it’s not fair.
I often feel lonelier than many are aware of too. Sure, I do meet people while waitressing all the time and I talk like a chatterbox to so many of them. I do have more people on my Facebook “friends” list than I could ever have in real life. But almost all of the TRUE friends that I have don’t even live within a close driving (flying?) distance to me. I hardly keep in touch with almost anyone from high school. I have maybe a couple of friends or so while at UGA for college, but I don’t even see them that often and I (honestly) dislike Athens otherwise.
My extended family (particularly cousins of mine) in general is so much more successful, physically attractive, and cohesive than I could ever dream of being with them. My mom has never been empathetically and emotionally close with me because she is just simply not that kind of person, and I can’t change it. My dad has always had strange mannerisms. My parents have been officially divorced for almost 2 years now, but even when they were together, they were not a good match at all. We didn’t live in a rich household or even a rich neighborhood while I was growing up. We still don’t.
But yet, all you see on my particular Facebook and Instagram accounts are pictures of me smiling and having the time of my life while on my seemingly luxurious (flashback) travels, while at dolled-up family events with family members I seldom even see, and while I’m in my own fantasy world making it look like I’m doing something productive with my life. You don’t see loneliness, isolation, tears, heartbreak, or disappointment in anything of mine because I filter it out. After all, why would you want someone to see you upset and being negative?
I could go on and on about the little things in my life that I don’t like and/or don’t have, but I think that you see the point that I’m getting at. I don’t have a perfect life. None of us really have “perfect lives.” No matter what social media makes it look like. Not all of us are struggling financially, but we all have those emotional conflicts within ourselves that can be detrimental to our self-esteem and our well-being. We all have lonely moments. We all strive to fit in for acceptance and love. Social media is awesome, but it also usually only reveals the “best” aspects of ourselves. It tremendously fails to reveal all of our feelings, our downfalls, and any of the missing patches in our own lives. It sneakily hides the bruises, scars, or unfulfilled desires that make us the type of people that we are and the kind of nurture that we need to satisfy our dreams.
Social media is simply a social construct with a sprinkle of outer presumption, pressure, and approval. Our life stories are all worth more than what our profiles make visible to the public. This is why social media can only be trusted to such a moderate extent. We constantly compare ourselves to others and their expectations – often so much that we often blind ourselves of our own. We naturally scrutinize our flaws (as you clearly read above from my own part) but we shouldn’t forget to emphasize our blessings, remain positive in the darkest of situations, and truly find the simple things in our lives that are worth living for.
There are people in the world who will love you, care for you, admire you, and praise you for the imperfectly perfect human that you are. Even during the moments when you’re down and feel like you’ve lost all hope in the world, there is a light at the end of each tunnel just waiting for you to seize. Keep doing the things that make you happy. Keep laughing at all of the funny things you see in your daily life or even on the internet. Learn a new skill or start a new project. Make a new friend, a new pen pal, or even befriend an old family member.
But most importantly, breathe. Everything always works itself out to make yourself a better individual in the end.