It's 3:22am as I write this and I'm as awake as ever thanks to the coffee that I've been having for the past few hours. I figured that this would be a good time to write a little something before I head to sleep and prepare for work in less than 7 hours.
My life is changing, but in a directionless direction. I'm not exactly sure what's in store for the future or even tomorrow. Luke has a full-time job now and isn't online as often anymore because of it. I mean, even when he WAS online more often, I would always space out my "talking time" with him to once every month, just to not bother or get on his nerves when he doesn't want to talk to anyone. The one year mark for our Prague trip is just 3 months away, yet I still feel like it took place just yesterday. And, maybe unsurprisingly, I still miss Luke sometimes. Distance really does suck. If only we'd at least lived on the same CONTINENT... Then maybe we could have at least TRIED being together. And maybe whatever short-lived crush he had on me wouldn't have faded as fast.
Aside from thinking about Luke MIA, the main two things that I've been doing with my life this semester so far are going to class and working. I don't have much of a social life because I either don't have time, others don't have time, or because I just simply don't have a ton of connections in Athens. It's nice that I can earn a little extra money each week, but going home on weekends that I want to is a bit harder now since, well, I'm scheduled to work at least one day every weekend. I love being at my apartment and having my own space off-campus, but sometimes I still miss home. I miss my swing and looking at the planes and the stars at night. I miss my neighborhood. I miss Newnan/Peachtree City people sometimes too, especially after having a look at Athens outside of UGA.
Anyway, sometimes I just feel lonely and like I just don't know what I'm doing with my life. I don't know what life to expect after college, or if I'll even have any sort of exciting life. I don't know if I'll ever have the opportunity to meet and be with Mr. Perfect Prince Charming. I don't know what friends from college will stick around, or if I'll just start over from the beginning again. Maybe I'm just being too negative, but the truth of the matter is that I'm just missing the past a little bit again tonight.
There are many things I'd do anything to have again.
And, one day, I hope I'll have the chance to gain some of them back.